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Apr. 30th, 2008

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The Idols Neil down and Paula screws up

Yeah, so, I was kinda disturbed by Paula’s “critique” of Jason Castro’s second song on “American Idol” last night when the Dreaded One hadn’t performed his second song yet.

I have no idea what was up with that, but I don’t buy for one second Paula’s excuse that she had mixed up her notes and was reading her thoughts on Rocker David’s performance, especially after she went on to say who great Rocker David was.

The two theories are:

1) Paula watched the dress rehearsal and wrote down her comments, which I find difficult to believe since Paula’s comments are usually incomprehensible, “You have so many colors, blah blah blah [passes out and bangs head on table]”.

2) The show’s producers watch the dress rehearsals and write out comments for Paula in advance, which I also find difficult to believe, because, well, see No. 1.

In other words, I don’t know what to believe. “Idol” producers need to be careful. The ratings are slipping and people are complaining that the producers have favorites (Little David) and that the show is rigged.

So anyway, let’s break it down …

Overall, Neil Diamond night was BORING! Note to “Idol”: This is probably why the ratings are down. Andrew Lloyd Weber? Neil Diamond? Meh.

Let’s start with the Dreaded One. You know what? Paula’s possibly scripted comments about Jason were actually right on. The guy obviously doesn’t give a shit about the show anymore. He’s not really trying. He’s not trying to make the songs his own and his stoner act is getting old. I could care less if this guy got the boot tonight.

Brooke’s first song, “I’m a Believer,” was totally karaoke and lame. The second song, “I am, I said” was better. Classic Brooke singing behind the piano. I think she needs to stay behind the piano. She looks more comfortable there. I still like Brooke, but she’s not going to win this thing. I’m pretty sure we are headed for an all David finale.

Syesha needs to go directly to Broadway. She’s not a great singer. She’s a decent singer/actress and she reminded everyone of it again last night. Simon was right when he said she could be in trouble tonight. She’s was rather unremarkable.

Bad Hair Rocker David did his usual rocker thing. The performances were fine. I realize that Bad Hair Rocker is a front-runner, but I still don’t see him as a solo artist. I’m sorry. I just don’t see it.

Little David sang “Sweet Carolina” and “America” and both songs sounded exactly the same to me. Technically fine, but no heart. Also, does anyone else think Little David looks like a monchichi. You decide …



So who’s going home? I really have no idea anymore and, honestly, after last night’s show, I’m kinda too bored to care. However, if I HAD to pick, I would guess that the Dreaded One and Syesha are in the bottom two with Syesha going home.

Tarot.com says …
Libra: You might believe that you are missing something important. It's not that love is less accessible now when sensual Venus visits comfortable Taurus. It's just that you are more sensible about your desires these days. Even if you consider yourself artistic, don't forget to pay attention to more practical concerns, too.

Apr. 24th, 2008

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Was it opposite night on 'American Idol'?

Yeah, so, opposite night continued on "American Idol" last night. 

The two singers that were my favorites on Tuesday night were in the bottom two. I've never seen a bottom two less deserving of being there than Syesha and Carly. They easily had the strongest performances on Tuesday night. Don't get me wrong, there were other weeks that those two deserved to be in the bottom two. Hell, there were weeks they deserved to go home, but not this week. Brooke and Jason should buy a lotto ticket this week, because they are super lucky. 

So anyway, buh-bye, Carly.

Kate and I went to yoga last night. We are going to stick with the Wednesday class. We enjoyed that. I'm so happy to have a yoga buddy!

Tarot.com says ...
Libra: An elevated sense of self-esteem could motivate you to ask for a raise or a date that might very well be overdue. But your demands for money or love could be unrealistic. Your tendency now is to overextend by pushing past socially acceptable limits. Don't get greedy or even those things that are within reach could be denied.

 

Apr. 23rd, 2008

Sonia the Jedi, The Blue Sonia Show, The Sonia Idol Show, The Sonia Show, Sonia Show in the Cube, The Sonia Show in SF, The Homer Show, The Sonia Show on the Road, The Sonia Show At The Movies, The Sonia Sketch Show, The Sonia Simpson Show, The Sonia Show updated

Phantom Menace and American Idol

Yeah, so, it was opposite night on “American Idol.” Singers that I’m usually indifferent to were my favorites of the night, while the singers I usually enjoy stunk up the stage.

 

The final six took on the songs of Andrew Lloyd Weber, and I was surprised by how good Carly and Syesha were. Syesha, in particular, was obviously in her element, although she hit a few bum notes … not that anyone noticed. And, even though she got a little McScreamy in the middle and flubbed a lyric, Carly rocked “Jesus Christ Superstar.”

 

I have to wonder though, why didn’t Rocker David, Brooke or the Dreaded One take Weber’s songs and make them their own like they usually do? Instead, they performed them straight up, and, well that didn’t work out so well for Brooke and the Dreaded One. Come on, even Little David took a song from “Phantom of the Opera” and made it all pop ballad-y.

 

Rocker David was pretty good, but I would have preferred to see him rock it up, but oh well. I loved that Weber told him to sing the song more sultry, but it appears that David confused sultry with sleepy. Didn’t he look like he was going to nod off in the middle of his performance?

 

And Brooke, poor, sweet, nice Brooke. She was waaaay out of her element here. She’s Carly Simon. She’s Carole King. She’s not Broadway. Her performance last night was, well, not so great. I didn’t care that she started over. As usual, Paula reminded everyone that she is a brain-dead retard after chastised Brooke for starting over, when a month or so ago, when Brooke did the same thing while singing “Every Breath You Take” on the piano, Paula applauded her for it. Like I said: Retard.

 

So, I suspect the bottom two will be the Dreaded One and Brooke with Brooke going home. I like Brooke. I think she’s great, but I think we all know she was never going to win this thing.

 

Tarot.com says …

Libra: Relationships can be the primary source of pleasure now, yet they may put pressure on other areas of your life, such as your career. Your ruling planet Venus, in your 7th House of Partners, is being stressed by aggressive Mars, provoking headstrong action. Taking a more philosophical approach can ease the stress on you and everyone else involved.

 

Apr. 16th, 2008

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Carey on, American Idol

Yeah, so, I didn’t sit down and write about “American Idol” last night, because good buddy Kate and I started a yoga class.

It was a hardcore class that totally kicked our butts, but it was so good for us. I was so rusty. It was good to be back. I know after a few more classes we will get stronger and make it through the class without feeling like we are going to faint. HA!

I did watch “Idol” last night, so I figured I would write up a little thing about it this morning.

I have to say that Bad Hair Rocker David, whose hair is looking better these days, totally ruled Mariah Carey night. His rocked up take on “You’ll Always Be My Baby” is going on my iPod.

I enjoyed the dreaded one’s bongo-ed “I Don’t Want to Cry.” I still think he is Jack Johnson-lite, but it was still good.

Syesha is the one singer most likely to suffer from comparisons to Mariah and I thought she did a good job. Picking a song that a lot of people don’t know is risky. It’s good because people won’t be as likely to compare her, but if she doesn’t knock it out of the park then people won’t remember her. I think she did a pretty decent job, but I think Syesha comes across as phony and she just doesn’t do it for me. I won’t be surprised to see her in the bottom three.

Little David sang technically well, but I’m just bored by him now. Good singer, but he doesn’t sing anything I want to listen to.

Speaking of boring, “OMG I’m like totally racist Kristy” induced many yawns. I don’t remember what she sang, but I’m pretty sure she performed last night.

I’m tired of the judges talking about Carly’s potential every week. She’s had more than enough opportunities to pick the right song and fuckin’ step it up and be the star that the judges keep saying she should be. I think she gets too screamy for me.

Oh Brooke. I heart Brooke. I think she started off really strong with her piano-ized “Hero,” but then she hit some wrong notes, got flustered and started rushing. This could put her in the bottom three always. I know Brooke isn’t going to win this thing. I think a David vs. David finale is the most likely scenario. However, I still love Brooke and I think she had a good idea in there. I think a different song might have helped. I would love to hear a stripped down, piano or acoustic version of “Somebody.” I bet that would be pretty damn cool.

FYI: I read on EW.com that Hot Aussie was going to sing a bluesy version of “Visions of Love.” Damn! I bet that would have been fuckin’ awesome!

Who’s going home? I think Syesha, Brooke and Kristy will be in the bottom three and this might finally be the week that we are rid of Kristy. She was sooooo boring. She didn’t country-up the song enough to get the usual retards who vote for her to the phones.

Tarot.com says …
Libra: It may appear that you are going about your life as usual, taking care of everyone else first. But something is cooking within the privacy of your own mind now as you consider how to better nurture yourself. Don't be afraid of making a decision to express your needs more freely, even if you cannot act on it for a few more days.

Apr. 8th, 2008

Sonia the Jedi, The Blue Sonia Show, The Sonia Idol Show, The Sonia Show, Sonia Show in the Cube, The Sonia Show in SF, The Homer Show, The Sonia Show on the Road, The Sonia Show At The Movies, The Sonia Sketch Show, The Sonia Simpson Show, The Sonia Show updated

Come on, 'Idol.' Inspire me. I dare you.

Yeah, so, tonight on “American Idol” the contestants are performing “inspirational” songs, which, of course, is tied into “Idol Gives
Back” Wednesday night. Let's see if the Idols inspire anything in me tonight other than boooos and frustration.

Hot Aussie sings “Dream On.” It's not my favorite performance by Hot Aussie, but I thought it was OK. Not great, but good. I loooooved him last week when he got bluesy. I think he should go back to that. Side note: Ryan said something about Simon having a chihuahua in his pants or something. When is Ryan just going to tell Simon that he likes him-likes him and get it over with? I keep waiting for Ryan to run down the judges' table and hit Simon with his Trapper Keeper and run off.

“I Believe” by Fantasia? Seriously? Seriously, Syesha? I guess no one told Syesha that picking a song by a past “Idol” winner is a big no-no. It just reminds us that she's not as good as a past contestant. Plus, every “Idol” song has ssssuuuuuccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkeeeeedddddd. Assuming that the show actually gives someone the boot this week (last year they didn't, because of “Idol Gives Back”), Syesha could be in serious danger. It's not good enough to get up on the stage and strive to be a second-rate Fantasia.

The dreaded one sings “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.” Whew. At least he didn't pick, “Do I Make You Proud.” The stoned one picked up the ukulele for his version and it was OK. I wasn't blown away and I'm not tripping all over myself to praise him like the judges, but it was good. Very pleasant.

“OMG I'm like totally racist” Kristy picks a song by Martina McBride, a country singer I positively loathe, because when I worked at Chico Movies 10 back in the day, she was a company-wide “New Music Artist,” which meant we had to listen to the same fuckin' six songs every day!!!! It's cruel! Factory workers in Third World countries don't suffer that kind of cruelty, but I digress ... So anyway, the Ugly American sings “Anyway” and I still hate her guts, but she wasn't terrible. Every time I see her smug face, every time I hear she annoying voice, I just want to punch her. Unfortunately, I suspect “OMG I'm like totally racist” Kristy will survive another week. Sigh.

Bad hair rocker David takes on “Innocent” by Our Lady Peace, a band I've heard of, but don't really know. Oh may, that started really rough. Bad hair rocker doesn't have much of a lower register. Hmmm, well. I think this is his weakest performance to date. I was kinda bored. I did like the “Give Back” written on his hand. So rock star. However, David may find himself in the bottom three this week. So-so performance + a song most people don't know = bottom three.

Carly, rockin' a gloriously 80s striped tank top, shrieks and screams her way through “The Show Must Go On” by Queen and gets her desperate scent all over the stage. Carly, say hello to the bottom three again.

Isn't every week “Idol Gives Back” week to Little David? He picks an inspirational song every week, so this is no big stretch for him. His version of “Angels” didn't blow me away, BUT, it is the most enjoyable Little David performance for me in recent weeks.

Brooke does Carole King's “You've Got a Friend,” which isn't much of a shocker. It totally suits her. That's her niche. I sing her as a Carole King, as Carly Simon. No surprise that the album “Tapestry” inspired Brooke to get into music. I think she should have played it on the piano herself and I think she should have ditched the back-up singers and kept it simple, but, I still liked it. It sure was ... nice. Nice. So very, very nice. Swell even. I heart Brooke.

Who did I like this week? I'm indifferent to inspirational song night. I liked Hot Aussie, the dreaded one and Brooke.

Bottom three: Syesha, Bad Hair Rocker David and Carly with Syesha going home. It is possible that I'm underestimating the Bad Hair Rocker David fan base, which means even though she didn't totally suck it this week “OMG I'm like totally racist” Kristy could be in the bottom three and that would be fine by me.

Apr. 2nd, 2008

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Buh-bye Ramiele

Ramiele got the boot tonight. That's no surprise.

You know what else isn't a surprise? Kristy acting like a bitch about always being in the bottom three. Blech. I hope she gets eliminated next week so viewers won't be subjected to her "talent" anymore.

The big surprise? Brooke in the bottom three! Nooooooooooooo! Viewers, that better not happen again or we will have to have The Talk. I heart Brooke. She just such a nice person. I wanted to hate her, because she's so nice, but I love her.

So anyway, Chris is leaving for DC soon to see his new adorable baby niece and he won't be back until Monday night. You know what that means right? I have to cook for myself. Oh the horror. Actually, Chris cooked up plenty of leftovers, so I won't starve.

Also, Michelle and Tony are seeing Chris Rock tomorrow night at the Paramount in Oakland, so Lorelei is coming out to stay with me. Woo-hoo! We are going to have so much fun. Get some dinner. Watch some Simpsons together. I can't wait!

Apr. 1st, 2008

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'Idol' Night: Hello, Dolly

Yeah, so, it's country night on “American Idol.” Finally, “OMG I'm like totally racist” Kristy can suck ass in her genre.

Dolly Parton is the mentor, and I like Dolly Parton, so maybe – just maybe – country night won't be that terrible.

Brooke gets back behind the guitar for “Jolene” and (spoiler alert!) I loved it. I think the judges are way off. They say it was alright, but I thought it was catchy as hell. I continue to heart Brooke. I guess, when it comes right down to it, I like Brooke's style. I like the kind of music she does. I think she rules.

Bad Hair Rocker David got a new haircut. Me thinks the “Idol” stylists are giving him a makeover a la Clay Aiken because he is lasting longer on the show than they originally thought he would. Anyway, his take on “Little Sparrow” was OK. His performance wasn't as good as last week, but it was still good. It didn't really make much of an impression on me to be honest.

Seeing as how Kristy played the patriot card for votes, Ramiele should have gone home last week instead of Chikezie. That's all I have to say about her performance this week. Next!

Is it just me or is Jason Castro a little like Jack Johnson-lite? Once again, I thought it was decent, but it wasn't much different than every other performance from the dreaded one.

I've been completely indifferent to Carly for most of the competition, but I must admit that I thought her “Here You Come Again” was quite good. I think it's my favorite performance of hers. I think Simon was off base slagging her fashion choice. Last week, that comment would have been appropriate. Shit, most weeks that would have been appropriate. She has looked horrible, kinda gothy, kinda witchy. This week, she looked good. Gawd, I can't believe I'm defending Carly.

I feel like I say the same thing about Little David every week: He's a very good singer. Too bad he never sings anything I would buy or, honestly, listen to. Yes, Little David can sing, but if his song came on the radio I would change the station.

I hate “OMG I'm like totally racist” Kristy. She is so disingenuous. She's so fuckin' phony. Seriously. Maybe she should give up singing (I wish!) and considering running for public office. Taking into account that this is supposed to be her genre, I thought it was pretty fuckin' weak performance. And what the hell was that crap at the end? “I love you, Simon,” and blowing kisses at him with that evil “I just slept with your boyfriend” laugh. Grrrrrr. Hate. Her. So. Much.

Shocker. The Whitney-clone Syesha takes on the big one “I Will Always Love You.” She probably didn't even know that Dolly Parton did that song before Whitney Houston. Overall, I thought her performance was very nice. She got a little screamy in the middle, but she had a big ol' note at the end that was most impressive. Honestly, I don't think it matters how well Syesha sings at this point. I don't think viewers particularly like her and she's not going to win. Don't be surprised to see her in the bottom three again, even though, this week, she doesn't deserve it.

Mmmmmmmmmm, Hot Aussie. “It's All Wrong, But All Right.” Yes! He ruled. Last week, he was really good. Tonight, I thought he was great.

Who was the best? Brooke and Hawt Aussie gave my favorite performances of the night.

The bottom three: Ramiele, the dreaded one and Syesha. I will say Ramiele is going home. Of course, I said Ramiele would be going home last week, so what do I know. I would love to put KKKristy in the bottom three, but she's got the VoteForTheWorst.com folks working for her. It might be enough to keep her around another week.

Mar. 27th, 2008

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Take it easy, Chikezie

Yeah, so, I was disappointed to see Chikezie get the boot on “American Idol” last night. I wasn’t surprised, but I was disappointed. I enjoyed him and, while I knew he wasn’t going to win, I hoped he would last a few more weeks.

 

Sadly, this means yet another week of the suckitude that is Kristy. Sigh.

 

People seemed surprised that Kristy is still around. I’m not. Every season a quasi-hot chick who can kinda sing makes it much farther than she deserves. People also seemed surprised that Syesha was in the bottom three. I’m not. Every season there is a girl who sings like Syesha, a girl who is obviously from the Whitney Houston/Mariah Carey mold. They never make it very far on the show either.

 

Tarot.com says …

Libra: Adhering to your plans today is an admirable goal, even if you are sorely tempted to toss them out the window. It's better to make the necessary changes while maintaining the basic structure to your routine. A tiny unattended detail can threaten your stability. Self-discipline isn't easy, but it can now bring you great rewards.

 

Mar. 25th, 2008

Sonia the Jedi, The Blue Sonia Show, The Sonia Idol Show, The Sonia Show, Sonia Show in the Cube, The Sonia Show in SF, The Homer Show, The Sonia Show on the Road, The Sonia Show At The Movies, The Sonia Sketch Show, The Sonia Simpson Show, The Sonia Show updated

Hey look, the Idols learned to sing!

Yeah, so, the top 10 Idols brought their A-game tonight singing songs from the year they were born. I think it was one of the best nights they've had this season.

Maybe it's because I didn't watch the show with my computer on my lap and instead watch it the way I've always watched it before: painting my toes and drinking wine (except when I watched it with Micaela and Aaron, of course. Then I was only drinking wine.)

Bad hair rocker David, Syesha and Hot Aussie finally impressed me! Chikezie and Brooke continue to make me smile. And then there's the rest.

So let's get this party started )

Mar. 20th, 2008

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Rocker Nurse, 'Office Space' and the Concord Pavilion

Yeah, so, I didn’t see the elimination of rocker nurse Amanda on “American Idol” coming at all. That should make [info]allebaram happy. In fact, my bottom three was waaay off. Oh well. Eh, what the hell do I know, right?

Sigh. I can’t believe I have listen to another week of Kristy.

So anyway, the higher-ups around here have become overly obsessed with people’s comings and goings. They have the receptionist keeping track of when everyone comes in and when they leave. Apparently, someone is bilking the company out of tens of dollars a year by coming in at 8:35 a.m. and leaving at 5:25 p.m. or something like that. Lame! It’s made some folks in the office very tense and grouchy. It’s ridiculous. How about treating people like grownups and trust them to do their jobs? If employees aren’t getting their shit done, I’m pretty sure it’s not because they rolled in at 8:35 a.m. and left at 5:25 p.m. I don’t need to worry. I always work eight hours (well, I’m here in the cube for eight hours anyway). Yesterday, I got stuck in traffic. I didn’t come in until 9:02 a.m. (the receptionist wrote it down), so I stayed until (no joke) 6:02 p.m. (but the receptionist wrote me out for 6:03 p.m. because she thought it would be funny). Seriously, my office is turning into “Office Space.”

Last night, Chris and I went grocery shopping. There was no food in my house and I went nuts and probably spent way more than I should have. Never go to the grocery store hungry. We had some very delicious spicy lamb with whole wheat pasta with a few glasses of wine for dinner. I just love having Chris around to cook for me. If he didn’t, I suspect I would eat cereal every night, because I’m lazy.

Michelle and I were just chatting about Captain Jackass. For a few weeks I've been joking about sending him job listings for Baghdad. Now, I've decided that he should get a job on a fishing boat and we could all pray for the perfect storm. Just an idea ...

I see tickets are on sale for the Doobie Brothers and Chicago at the Concord Pavilion. Anyone? Anyone? Oh Concord Pavilion, now called the Sleep Train Pavilion, I would love for you to take down the evil Shoreline, but with acts like that … well, you are making it unlikely. This concert venue spent so much money on renovations and it still rarely attracts big-name acts. I think Eddie Money is still opening and closing the season. Two tickets to, errr, paradise? Rush is playing there. Duran Duran is playing there, too. That would be big news 25 or 30 years ago. I must admit though, Chris and I are going to see The Police there, so, ummm, yeah …

Tarot.com says …
Libra: Use this phase to connect with others, for the Sun is now shining in your 7th House of Partnerships. You have great potential to use your creative vision to get what you desire, so be careful with your wishes. Don't waste this opportunity, for it can set a stage that will allow you additional self-expression over the next weeks.

Mar. 18th, 2008

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Meet the Beatles ... again

Yeah, so, the Top 11 takes on the Beatles again. Honestly, I don't know if it was such a good idea to do two weeks in a row of Beatles, but, eh, what can you do? Let's see I've got my remote, my laptop, my Homer on my lap, I'm ready to go.

This is .......... my "American Idol" break down:

Rocker nurse Amanda – I like Amanda. I enjoy her performances and I look forward to them. I understand what Simon is saying though. She is the same week after week, but she has that kind of voice. I would love to hear her do something different, slow it down, perhaps. In no way do I expect Amanda to win this competition, but I hope she sticks around for a while for a few more weeks.

“OMG I'm like totally racist” Kristy, who was a country music train wreck last week, ruins, errr, I mean sings “You've Got to Hide Your Love Away.” Look out! Bum notes are flying all over the place. Someone could get hurt. Egads. I really dislike her. Ohhh, she got the “you look beautiful tonight” from Paula. Nice! Then she gets the “Gee, you weren't as terrible as last week, but you are still boring” from Simon. Then she says to Simon, “I can blow you out of your socks and you know it.” Ummm, no we don't. Oh, what are you going to do, Kristy? Sing “Amazing Grace” again? Or did she really mean “blow you” (wink wink) out of your socks. Gawd, I hate her.

Little David -- After totally sucking it last week, Little David has returned to singing well and remembering the words. He was very good. Once again, I must say, the kid can sing. I won't be downloading any of his music, but he can sing. I wonder if he's got stage parents who just kicked his ass after his blunder last week. Just wondering ...

Hot Aussie, Brooke, Chikezie and more )

Mar. 13th, 2008

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Mug shot

Yeah, so, not a big shocker that Stripper David got the boot on “American Idol.” I’m sure he can still get his job back at the “pizza bistro.”

 

So anyway, the supposed coffee mug situation in my office has become a running joke. I’ve been threatening to steal the mug from Rain Man, and sending him a ransom note with a photo of the mug wearing a blindfold, saying if he doesn’t drop off a Starbucks gift card with $20 on it in the breakroom next to the copier then he will get his mug back in pieces.

 

Cube mate Barbi suggested we leave a note saying the mug is on vacation and send him pictures of the mug in different locations around SF: the Golden Gate Bridge, a gay club, Ferry Building, etc. Hey, at least the guy gave us something to laugh about for a day. Thanks, guy.

So, I went to Trader Joe's last night. I love Trader Joe's. In front of the store they had a big sign that said they prohibit solicitors, so if you see anyone with a clipboard in front of their store you should feel free to ignore them guilt-free. I love that! Almost every time I go to Safeway there is some jerkstore asking me to give him money, sign a petition or buy her Girl Scout Cookies. I just want to spend more money than I should in the store in peace. Is that too much to ask?

OH, someone just walked by my cube with a box of Krispy Kremes ... Why, god, why?!?!?!

 

Tarot.com says …

Libra: Don't give up now, even if you can't figure out what to do. Your emotions are a bit out of control and it's hard to know who or what to trust. But this temporary confusion isn't necessarily problematic, for it also presents growth potential. You don't need to pretend that you have it all together if you're not feeling it. Your intuition can show you the best path to the other side.

Mar. 11th, 2008

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A Hard Day's 'Idol' Night

Yeah, so, let's break down how the top 12 Idols did with the Lennon-McCartney song book.

“Model/actress” Syesha – The judges love her waaaay more than I do. The judges always say that every week these contestants need to “bring it.” But, for me, Syesha never brings it. I think she's beautiful and boring with a decent voice.

Chikezie – Chikezie ditched his usual old school R&B voice for a more bluegrass-tinged-turned-rock-tinged “She's a Woman.” I miss the old school R&B voice, but I think this is pretty good. The judges worship it. I don't worship it, but I was entertained by it. (UPDATE: I heard this performance a few times on the radio this morning, and I think it gets better each time I hear it.)

Ramiele – Honestly, she bored me. She got the “you look lovely tonight” from Paula. Ouch. I think she might be joining her fallen “Idol” buddies this week.

The dreaded one Jason Castro – Damn. I hate to sound like Randy, but it was totally pitchy, dawg. I didn't like it. It was boring. It wasn't Ramiele boring, but it was still pretty frakin' boring. Paula is wrong, I didn't “feel his heart.” What the hell does that mean? It sounds illegal. “And then, officer, he felt my heart. [sob] I feel so dirty ...”

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Sorry Carly

Wow, the folks at VoteForTheWorst.com really hate "American Idol's" Carly.

Click here for their complete list of Carly's lies

I'm going to check out Judy Gold's one-woman show tonight, so I may not get a chance to write my "Idol" breakdown until later tonight or tomorrow. My apologies to the two people who read them. HA!

Mar. 6th, 2008

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Luke Suckwalker is gone and the 'Idol' top 12

Yeah, so, "American Idol" has revealed its top 12. What do you think?

Well, I for one was happy that I recorded "Idol" and then watched it, so I didn't have to sit through Luke Suckwalker's buh-bye performance of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." Crisis averted.

I'm so sad to see Danny go. I knew he wouldn't win the competition, but I looked forward to what he was going to perform every week. VotefortheWorst.com had championed him. Personally, I think they picked the wrong guy, because Danny can actually sing. At the same time, I have no idea who I would have sent him. Maybe Stripper David. He was good the first week, but I was unimpressed Tuesday night. I'm pleased that Chikezie made the cut. I would worried for a second.

I was not surprised to see Kady or Asia'h go. Kady stunk up the stage every week. Asia'h was pretty damn terrible Wednesday night. Asia'h totally ruled when she sang "I'm Going Down" in Hollywood, but she was never that good again. Personally, I would have preferred for "OMG I'm totally racist" Kristy to go home. I will keep my fingers crossed that she won't make the top 10.

I'm looking forward to the show this season. Now, it's getting to the fun part, the good part.

Mar. 5th, 2008

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That '80s Show: An 'Idol' Breakdown Part Deux

Yeah, so, it's the ladies turn to go back to the '80s on “American Idol.”

Let's break it down ...

Asia'h is rockin' an outfit that could be right out of the '80s and I mean that in a bad way, and when I say “bad” I don't mean bad as in good, I mean bad as in terrible. Her “I Want to Dance With Somebody” was unimpressive. Big tools Randy and Paula loved it. Simon didn't. I thought it was totally karaoke and getting up on the stage and saying that she will settle for being a second-rate Whitney Houston didn't do her any favors.

Kady the Britney impersonator decides to impersonate Freddy Mercury this week with “Who Wants to Live Forever.” First, she tells a story about her embarrassing moment in at a high school talent show. I'm pretty sure her performances the last two weeks was more embarrassing. So anyway, she hits many, many, many wrong notes, but as Paula said Tuesday night when Little David hit wrong notes, it shows us she's human and that's good, right? Big tools Randy and Paula give her praise. Simon says it's better than last week, but really, that's not saying much. Let's assume she is going home this week.

Amanda the rocker nurse redeems herself from her heinous performance last week with Joan Jett's “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” I love her voice. She doesn't sound like anyone on “American Idol” and I am so thankful for that. Yay! Someone who doesn't want to be a second-rate Whitney!

Click here for more 'Idol' fun )

Mar. 4th, 2008

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That '80s Show: An 'Idol' breakdown

Yeah, so, it's 80s night and the feeling right. Oh yes, it's 80s night, oh what a night ...

Let's get right into the guys on "American Idol."

"Idol" producers are asking all the singers what was their most embarrassing moment is. They are making made it all too easy for mockin'.

The plain brown Luke Wilson of "Idol," Luke Menard, thinks his sister dressing him up as a girl when he was a kid was his most embarrassing moment. Little did he know his most embarrassing moment would occur minutes later on the "Idol" stage when he sang "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go." It was so bad-bad. Time for him to go-go. Sorry, folks, I couldn't resist.

Little David talked about his most embarrassing moment, but it was something lame and I already forgot it. I think he should be embarrassed that he picked such a boring Phil Collins song, the one about the homeless or something. Yawn. Randy said it was nice and Paula said it's good that he hit wrong notes (?) to show he's not perfect. SHUT UP PAULA! "Good job on not hitting the right notes." You are such a tool! Little David is so serious. I wonder if he's ever seen "Superbad," or does he sit around with good nanny Brooke and talk about how they've never seen a rated R movie?

Danny Noriega did "Tainted Love." It wasn't perfect, but that's why Paula should love it, right? I kinda liked it, because it was different. I still believe this kid can sing. I wish he would pick a song that really showed it off.

Gay stripper David says his most embarrassing moment was doing a photo shoot with a booger hanging out of his nose. Yeah, right. I'm pretty sure his most embarrassing moment is the story about the fact that he worked as a gay stripper that hit all the websites this week. Not that there's anything wrong that. He was trying to hide it, so obviously he is embarrassed by it. He sang "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" by Celine Dion. So, who didn't know he was gay? It was really uneven. He was so good last week, so this is disappointing. Honestly, the guy are suckin' it this week ... so to speak.

Click here for the rest of the mockin' )

Feb. 27th, 2008

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You're so vain, you probably think this 'Idol' post is about you. Don't you? Don't you?

Yeah, so, it’s the “American Idol” ladies’ turn …

Carly Smithson version of Heart’s “Crazy on You” … I’m happy that she picked a song in which she got to show off her voice a bit. I wasn’t blown away. It was good, but it wasn’t great. She looked better than last week, that’s for sure. I’m sure she will be back next week.

Syesha Mercado thinks we would be surprised to know that she’s acts in commercials. Not really. She seems phony like an actress, like she’s always acting. Her take on “Me & Mr. Jones” (changed from “Me & Mrs. Jones”) lacks the passion of the original. It’s phony. How surprising.

Brooke White did “You’re So Vain,” a secret iPod fave of mine. I can just picture her singing and strumming her guitar in any random coffee shop. I mean that in a good way, of course. Her performance is nice. It’s solid. I’m sure she will make the cut this week.

Click for more ‘Idol’ ranting )
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Imagine there's no 'Idol' ...

Yeah, so, I got home last night to sit down a watch “American Idol,” so here’s a day-after breakdown …

Let’s start with Little David’s “Imagine,” which closed the show. As you may recall, John Lennon’s “Imagine” very often brings me to tears. Jennifer Hudson sang it when she was on the show, and I cried. Little David’s version didn’t make me cry like Paula Abdul. In fact, I didn’t think it was the amazing version that everyone else is making it out to be. That said, I think he sang it beautifully. His voice was flawless. I can’t believe he’s only 17! Right now, this kid is the obvious frontrunner.

The other David performed “Papa was a Rollin’ Stone,” which started out a little too boy band for me, but he got better. This David can definitely sing, too. I think he will make the cut this week.

The funny looking rocker David’s take on Free’s “All Right Now” left me completely indifferent. He’s got a good voice, but I just don’t see him as a solo singer, more of a frontman for a decent rock band. Also, David needs to learn the Don’t Talk Shit to Simon rule. It makes you look like a total choad. Take his criticism, which is meant to be constructive, and move on.

My favorite performance of the night, the one I really enjoyed, was Chikezie. Music of the 70s is a perfect fit for this guy who really has an old school soul voice and I love old school soul. I realize many folks will disagree on this one, but I loved his performance, even if he was dressed like a preppy from a 1980s comedy. Seriously, he could have stepped right off the set of “Better Off Dead” or “Just One of the Guys.”

Click here for the rest of the ‘Idol’ breakdown )

Feb. 21st, 2008

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'Idol' Spoiler Alert! I was half right

Yeah, so, tonight on "American Idol" Garrett "Leif Garrett clone" Haley and Colton "I look like Ellen DeGeneres" Berry got the boot on the guys' side, while Amy "What's her face" Davis and Joanne "Plus-Size Mode" Borgella got the boot on the ladies' side.

For the record, I predicted the two ladies correctly, but I missed the boot on the dudes. Of course, both of those guys totally suck ass, so I'm fine with them getting the ax.

The worst thing about the results show: Medleys. Terrible, dreadful, cheesy medleys. I suspect some of the contestants don't exactly love them either. I'm sure the rocker nurse isn't digging, which yet another reason to love her.

By the way, I think Ryan Seacrest thinks the more he repeats that this is "the most talented top 24 ever" that we will start to believe it. I don't believe it.

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