The Sonia Show

Yeah, so, it’s the “American Idol” ladies’ turn …

Carly Smithson version of Heart’s “Crazy on You” … I’m happy that she picked a song in which she got to show off her voice a bit. I wasn’t blown away. It was good, but it wasn’t great. She looked better than last week, that’s for sure. I’m sure she will be back next week.

Syesha Mercado thinks we would be surprised to know that she’s acts in commercials. Not really. She seems phony like an actress, like she’s always acting. Her take on “Me & Mr. Jones” (changed from “Me & Mrs. Jones”) lacks the passion of the original. It’s phony. How surprising.

Brooke White did “You’re So Vain,” a secret iPod fave of mine. I can just picture her singing and strumming her guitar in any random coffee shop. I mean that in a good way, of course. Her performance is nice. It’s solid. I’m sure she will make the cut this week.



The oh-so tiny girl with the big voice, Ramiele Mabulay, takes on the disco hit “Don’t Leave Me This Way.” I’m happy that someone took on some disco, but sadly, this really wasn’t the best song for her. She’s a cutie. She’s got a great voice. Anyone can hear that, but the song wasn’t a good fit. She didn’t get to show off her voice like Carly did earlier. I still like her. I hope she makes it to next week.

Kristy Lee Cook thinks we would be surprised to know that she’s the daughter my father wishes he had. She’s into hunting, fishing and other shit that he loves to do, but makes my skin crawl. “I would love to hunt with you, Dad, but, ummm, I have to sit in a corner and read a book and silently judge you.” The poor man’s Carrie Underwood sang “You’re No Good,” another secret iPod fave of mine. She sounds better this week than last week, but I still just want to punch her in face.

Maybe squeegman and I could get into a cage match with Kristy and the Doobie Brother singer from last night, Jason. The winners get to, ummm, “be friends” with the hot Aussie. What say you, Kurt?

Rocker nurse Amanda’s hair looks terrible. It’s very Crucella de Vil. Oh, and her “Carry On, My Wayward Son” was terrible. It hurts me to type that. I so want her to do well. I think the competition needs her. I really like her, BUT, her performance was shitty. She got the “you’ve got the moves” comment from Paula because Paula can’t pull out the “you look beautiful tonight” line that she saves for only truly sucky. I think rocker nurse has enough of a fan base to help her make it another week. I mean, if season one Nikki McKibben can make it to the final three, then Amanda can make it to the top 12.

OH, “Grease” alert! The Alicia Silverstone-clone Alaina sang “Hopelessly Devoted to You” and somehow manages to bring back memories of high school productions of “Grease” that I never even saw.

Alexandrea Lushington totally ruled last week with “Spinning Wheel.” Her performance of Chicago’s “If You Leave Me Now” is, sigh, OK. The vocals were good, but the song is sooooo fuckin’ boring. The original is fuckin’ boring, too. I don’t know why she would pick such a fuckin’ boring song after totally funkin’ out last week.

The ladies’ love themselves some Heart. Kady Malloy’s “Magic Man” was a big ol’ mess. The song is too big for her. She never sounded in tune. She looked like a drunk Chico State girl performing karaoke. I know one when I see one. Simon says that she is so great on film, but then she gets on the stage and she stinks it up. He’s basically saying, “When you’re not singing, you’re great.” I can’t imagine her Britney impression is going to save her this week.

Asia'h Epperson thinks we would be surprised to know that she has herpes. Kidding. She thinks we’d be surprised to know she was a cheerleader. Actually, I would be surprised if she wasn’t. But anyway, her version of “All By Myself” fell flat. That song slapped her around and called her a bitch. It kicked her ass. Randy and Paula are fuckin’ tools, handing out positive reviews of a performance that was quite amateur. If she hadn’t been so good in the past, so would be going home this week.

The best tonight? Honestly, there aren’t very many to choose from. I was very disappointed tonight. Brooke’s “You’re So Vain” and Carly’s “Crazy On You” were my favorites of the night.

So, who’s going home? Kady Malloy and the Alicia Silverstone-clone are my predictions.